help me out with punctuation and spelling ?
i’m running in this beauty pageant for my yacht club,and if you win your crowned the "princess " and i have to read this essay about myself,but i also have to give a copy to three of the judges. is the spelling and the punctuation correct ? thanks!
"Hi ,
I’m Emily ******,and I hope to be ******Yacht Club’s princess for the 2010 boating season.
I’d first like to thank everyone who encouraged ,and supported my decision to run for princess this year. You’ve all given me the confidence boost i needed. And i want to especially thank the judges for taking the time to come out today,and judge our pageant.
Secondly I want to tell you a little about myself. I’m sixteen years old,and attend ********* High School as a junior,class of 2011.
I’ve played lacrosse my freshmen ,and sophomore year. And plan to continue doing so. Playing lacrosse has shown me my strengths….and weaknesses. I’ve learned how far I can really push myself,and that if i want something bag enough,to just go for it. Besides playing lacrosse I enjoy tubing off the back of my jet-ski. The adrenaline rush I feel is incredible,almost indescribable. When its to cold to go tubing,i love watching movies. From the classics like ‘The Breakfast Club’,and ‘Pretty Woman’ to new releases like ‘Across The Universe’
As for my goals I want to maintain a high GPA in school this year,and volunteer in projects to help save the bay,and one day i want to eventually own my own salon and day spa.
Lastly I want to say why I want to be the princess of ******** Yacht Club. I feel that I’m the right choice,because I truly ,and sincerely love everything about **********,and I want to do everything I can to keep ******** the best it can possibly be. And I care about our bay ,and I think having the title of ‘princess’ I could really get the message out about keeping our bay healthy. Also our last princess left some pretty big shoes to fill,and I know that with my commitment,and enthusiasm I can fill those shoes. Also no matter how challenging ,or difficult being a princess becomes, I will not give up. I never do.
Thank you!"
******** is personal information.
thanks!
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Tagged with: across the universe • adrenaline rush • beauty pageant • boating season • breakfast club • freshmen • gpa • jet ski • pretty woman • princess • punctuation • right choice • salon and day spa • sixteen years • sophomore year • spelling • strengths and weaknesses • taking the time • those shoes • yacht club
Filed under: Ski Fitness
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First, I’d like to thank everyone who both encouraged and supported my decision to run for princess this year. You have all contributed to my self-confidencee and knowing I could achieve any goal I set for myself, now and in the future. I especially want to thank the judges for taking the time to come out today to judge our pageant and for allowing me to step-up and take control in my dream of becoming the(your yacht club name) princess.
Secondly, I would like to explain a little about myself. I am sixteen years old and attend ********* High School as a Junior member of the 2011 class. I’ve played lacrosse both my freshmen and sophomore years. I plan to continue doing so in the years to come. Playing lacrosse has brought to my attention my physical and mental strengths and weaknesses. I’ve learned how far I can really push myself and that if i want something bad enough, I can push myself that much more to accomplish it. (I would leave out the tubing, you dont want them to think you are an adrenoline junkie) In addition to playing lacrosse, I enjoy watching movies of any genre. Including, what I consider classics such as ‘The Breakfast Club’ and ‘Pretty Woman’ to new releases like ‘Across The Universe’. These movies inspire me to be myself and to enjoy the road life brings. (or make up whatever sounds good to you)
My goals in school are important to me because they will help me accomplish my life goals. I want to maintain a minimum of 3.2 GPA to help me get into cosmetology school. Aside from school, I plan on maintaining a balanced schedule of work, fun activities, sports and volunteering. I intend on volunteering for projects to help save our local bay. My life goal is to graduate from cosmetology school and start my own day spa with a mini salon. Shortly thereafter, I plan on starting my family while running my successful business.
Finally, I would like to express my reasonings as to why I want to be crowned princess of ******** Yacht Club. I feel that I’m a suitable candidate because I am passionate about the(yacht club name). I feel with the proper leadership, the (yacht club name) can contribute largely to (your town’s name) community. Our bay is very important to me and to our community. I feel that being crowned ‘princess’ could really assist me in my goals to keep our bay clean as well as help me in attending college. As we all know, (last princess’ first and last name)left some pretty big shoes to fill and I know that with my commitment and enthusiasm I can excel in filling those shoes. I saw what (the last princess’ first name) accomplished and it made me realize that no matter how challenging or difficult a task is. With a little hard work, a princess always gets her happy ending. I would be honored to be this year’s (yacht club’s name) princess.
Thank you,
(your name)
Don’t use commas followed by the word and
Good luck
Good Afternoon! (or evening, whatever suits the time)
I’m Emily ****** and I hope to be ****** Yacht Club’s princess for the 2010 boating season.
First off, I’d like to thank everyone who encouraged and supported my decision to run for princess this year. You’ve all given me the confidence boost I needed. I also want to especially thank the judges for taking the time to come out today and judge our pageant.
I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. I’m sixteen years old and a junior at ******** High School. I have played lacrosse both in my freshmen and sophomore year and plan to continue doing so, as I enjoy it very much. Playing lacrosse has shown me my physical strengths and weaknesses. I’ve learned how far I can really push myself and that if I want something bad enough, I can go for it. Besides playing lacrosse, I enjoy tubing. When it’s too cold to go tubing, I love watching movies. From classics like ‘The Breakfast Club’ and ‘Pretty Woman’ to new releases like ‘Across The Universe’, I enjoy all different genres of movies.
As for my goals, I want to maintain a high GPA in school and volunteer in projects to help save the bay. One day I want to open my own salon and day spa.
I would like to now take the time to explain why I feel that I am the right choice for the princess of ******** Yacht Club. I truly and sincerely love everything about **********, and I want to do everything I can to keep ******** the best it can possibly be. I care about our bay very much and I think that being "princess" would allow me to not only remind people to keep the bay healthy, but take great care of it myself. As you all know, our last princess left some pretty big shoes to fill, and I know that with my commitment and enthusiasm I can fill those shoes. No matter how challenging or difficult being a princess may become, I will never let anyone down and that’s a promise!
Thank you!"